How to Start Your 2016 Christmas Card
I love the old phrase, “Life isn’t all beer & skittles.” It’s a wonderful, catchy expression from sometime around the 17th century. It’s basically a more interesting way of saying: “Life isn’t all fun and games”. Before they were delicious, cavity-causing confections, Skittles was a bowling-like game that unemployed guys in newsie caps and wool knickers played in the streets outside of pubs. The pins were the skittles.
The phrase is fun to use in daily life but I find it has the most effect when used sparingly, like bass riffs on a Beck album.
Fortunately, the Christmas card is the prime literary stage and is perfect for just such a usage. Now is the time to flex your wit and simultaneously appear culturally savvy and humble!
“Beloved Friends and Family,
2016 wasn’t all beer & skittles, but the family is happy and healthy…”
It’s easy. And the best part is you’re not limited to any one drink and game. I find it’s best to pair a bizarre sounding cocktail with an obscure children’s game. Here are some ideas to kick off your holiday letter. Lastly, if your year really did kind of suck, I recommend any one of these activity/drink pairings for an instantly good time! Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!
“Cousin, Another lap around the sun. It wasn’t all Tiddlywinks & Gin…”
“What a year! It sure wasn’t all Hopscotch & Rum but…”
“Hi Aunt Dolores, 2016 wasn’t all Chutes & Ladders & Sex on the Beach, that’s for sure…”
“Brother, I hope you’re well. This year wasn’t all Princess Punch & Connect Four…”
“2016? Not all Mickey Slims & A Barrel of Monkeys but…”
“This year wasn’t all Mall Madness & Jungle Juice…”
“Dearest Mother, It wasn’t all Red Light, Green Light & Slippery Nipples but 2016 had it’s…”
“Well, Graham, 2016 wasn’t all Duck Farts & Red Rover but…”